This Way, That Way....You Choose “Life is complex. Each one of us must make his own path through life. There are no self-help manuals, no formulas, no easy answers. The right road for one is the wrong road for another...The journey of life is not paved in blacktop; it is not brightly lit, and it has no road signs. It is a rocky path through the wilderness. ” M. Scott Peck
Thus stated one of my favorite psychiatrists and authors of all time. He coined the phrase “psycho-spirituality” in the late 70s, and it is a term that I use in my work and with others all the time. Spiritual growth and psychological growth go hand in hand, and the more we catch the interconnectedness of both, the more inclusive and integrated our own evolution can be.
Life is complex. It is multi-layered. It is a spinning web of intricate, universal design. Your path and my path may interlock and make sense. Or, they may not. It is a dance, a movement among soul group members who bob and weave in any given lifetime with one another as specific lessons are learned and karma is addressed.
Life is not simple. It simply cannot be. At least not to my labyrinthine mind.
Allow me to share another quote by M. Scott Peck to this effect: “Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers, and to begin to think multi-dimensionally, to glory in the mystery and paradoxes of life, not to be dismayed by the multitude of causes and consequences that are inherent in each experience -- to appreciate the fact that life is complex.”
As such, I am taking this approach, this innate yet learned mode of operating into the near future. Because what is happening for me, and for you, too is that we are going to be at a fork in the road soon.
And yet you will choose.............
Where those roads lead for each person will be unique to his/her soul needs.
How you choose which path to take will lie solely in your hands. Well, really, also on the soles of your feet once you start walking it. The Leo King (gifted astrologer) said the other day in a video that Venus is going out of retrograde in a couple of days, and he is correct. When Venus is in retrograde we are given sacred time to examine our lives, our loves, how we love, who we love, and to do so with eyes really wide open. There’s no shadowing effect, no hiding what is real when Venus sits in her sacred space of contemplative non-movement.
She’s leaving this space soon and starting to move again in the sky. Once she starts to move, so will we.
We will find ourselves at that fork in the road where our choice is this (I say in an intuitive state, as does The Leo King): Do we stay where we are, in a state of pseudo-complacency, and find a way to put a smile on our faces and make it work?
Or
Do we look at that other road we’re being offered, which, in the words of M. Scott Peck, is a bit wild and rocky, a bit complex, multi-dimensional and even circuitous, yet directly conducive to our soul growth, and which will, when navigated carefully, bring us unexpected happiness?
It’s up to you.
We walk each day, living our lives, looking around us at what we’re doing, saying, and with whom, and hopefully we’re learning a lot along the way. We grow, either by design, or by default.
We accumulate years of experience, knowledge, understanding, and empathy.
We fold all of these sophisticated, synchronistic little lessons into who we are.
And sometimes, at key “turning point” moments in our lives, we’re provided with an opportunity to level up.
When we level up, we find that all of those lessons make sense in a holistic, divinely tuned way, and we get to choose how we’re going to use them.
We can use them for the highest good and joy “of all,” and for those around us. We can take our evolved self as it stands in this moment and choose the wild and rocky path that requires we apply all of those lessons consciously and very lovingly. All we are, all we’ve been, all who have touched our lives and created this tapestry called “us” gets to step into a new day, a new life, and bring our best selves to the table, utilizing all of this beauty and enriched understanding.
But ultimately, this will be your choice. You do have free will, even though free will, as I’ve recently discovered, still secretly walks hand in hand with fate.
You can choose to carry on and give it your best. Or you can choose to put on your hiking shoes and walk the road less traveled. Either choice is fine. The universe will not judge you, and gosh knows, neither will I.
It’s an interesting conundrum. It’s a fork in the road of fascinating ponderance. It’s a time of levelling up. But it’s ultimately…….your choice.
Breathe deeply into your abdomen. Pray about it. Ask your body, your heart, your spirit what is for you. It will tell you, I promise. Then start walking.
Oh, how I love you.
In the spirit of the ancients, Hope Gold 2017 Quotes from The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growthby M. Scott Peck
Set the Bar High: Choosing Love “How do I know if I should walk away?” my client asked. “Is our karma complete?” a dear friend inquired. “Is there someone else coming?” yet another hopes.
“Well,” I say hesitantly, afraid to say anything that may encourage actions not in alignment with their soul path, “let me tune into this.” Or I respond with discernment, “Here’s what I DO know……but please know that I don’t know it all.”
Relationships. Probably the number one topic that comes up for any coach, let alone psychic, on the planet. We long for them, we dream of them, we find them, we stay in them, we work on them, we leave them ……..that pretty much runs the gamut of humanity’s longing for acceptance, nurturance, and communion with the beloved other.
Relationships. They give us great joy, and they can bring us great pain. They usher in all emotions on the emotional spectrum, and they bring up our deepest stuff to be healed. We cannot grow in a vacuum as individual souls. I don’t think.
My favorite professor and advisor in grad school years ago shared what has become one of my all-time favorite quotes, one that I now go on to share with my philosophy students each term. It was a statement he made to us in a thesis research and writing class, in reference to gathering thorough data on our paper’s topic.
“You can never know everything about something, and you can never know something about everything. You can only know something about something.” (Thank you Dr. Gerry Wolff, former History Professor at the University of South Dakota for your wit and wisdom).
I agree. That’s my ultimate story, and I’m sticking to it. So repeat that quote to yourself at any point in this article you feel the need to, especially if you find what I’m sharing is incongruent with your life experience.
So…..with a very humble heart and a lot of cringing………here’s the consistent messages I have found myself passing onto clients and friends over the past two weeks as this topic has become front and center on everyone’s radar. This is what I “DO” know about being in relationship:
1.You have to fit. There is something very real about having a common spiritual language system on which to fall back when times get rough, and it also helps to have similar political views (or at least the ability to find common ground within them if not). Having a similar sense of humor makes a difference. You’d be surprised at how that unites people when necessary as well. 2.You have to fit. Yep, I totally just repeated myself. It helps to have similar modes of operating in the world. If you don’t, it helps to find the balance between your differences there, and honor them. (i.e.: Do you both like to have a clean kitchen at the end of the day, are you both planners, do you prefer to go with the flow, do you like time alone to decompress from stuff, how important is time management in your world? Etc.) 3. Can you effectively separate and differentiate from each other? What this means is- do you have a strong sense of identity on your own- apart from your partner? Can you respect and honor your partner’s differences, and do your own thing without expecting the other person to operate as you do? (i.e. you are gregarious and the life of the party and your partner finds this tiring) 4. No enmeshment. Enmeshment is a word for boundaries that are so intertwined that the two of you are functioning together, all the time, with little room for air. Are you all in each other’s business, to the point that the personal identity mentioned above is feeling sacrificed? Are there issues of trust, feelings of jealousy, concerns about loyalty or over neediness on behalf of one or both partners? Enmeshment is a form of codependency, and codependent relationships stifle growth in a partnership. To read more about this topic, check out the classic Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It was my Bible in the 90s when this was a big issue for me. 5.You have to fit enough that there is a natural flow. You find that some of the qualities you seek are there, whereas some are not. You’d be surprised at how many people will encourage you to stay in a relationship that does not “fit” or exactly function in a healthy state just so you are not alone. I am a huge fan of counseling, and any personal work that encourages awareness among individuals within a partnership. However, if the commitment to growth is one-sided, or personal differences just can’t be shifted (and should they be?) no matter how hard you’ve tried, you’re not flowing anymore. You want to float down life’s stream together- in an intentional dialogue- not swim upstream struggling to make your needs honored. 6.If it’s too much work, it’s too much work. I’ve been in relationships that did not fit exactly, and were constant work. I have been in relationships that do fit, are full of mutual respect, and flow. Just as much growth can come through a peaceful, loving partnership as can arise through a contentious one. Opt for peace and natural understanding. Every time. The universe does not expect you to stay in something that is too much work or doesn’t feel good. I emphasize this emphatically in matters of abuse. Ever. 7.Conflict resolution should be a sacred process. It is the ideal for one to move out of adolescent narcissism and unconscious reactivity by the time one reaches their mid-20s, for example. However, that is only the ideal. If your conflicts are not full of a baseline friendly sharing, referring to your own experience within the conflict, and openly exchanging your feelings in a safe space with your partner (use those healthy “I” statements and don’t say “You do this” in a projected fashion) in a quest to grow, compromise, and be your best out of love, then think about how to do this work. Conflicts are not negative experiences, but should be mere opportunities for mutual understanding and growth. And a lot of grace. A LOT of grace. (That bears repeating). 8.Take the person you choose to love in his/her present. First of all, love sometimes can feel like it’s not a choice. There is absolutely an inexplicable, magical quality to it. But once you’re in the relationship, you’re going to start choosing to remain in it, really on a daily basis. Love is a verb. A very intentional, mindful verb. Love is ALSO caring for someone as he/she is functioning in his/her present reality. Do not fall into a partnership because you see the “light” in him/her or that person’s potential. So many empaths do this, then become bogged down in a situation that results in one person being the emotional adult in the relationship, and possibly enabling the other partner’s dysfunction. Growth becomes stifled, and no one benefits. You want the love you choose to be healthy, functional, or the right fit at the time that you come together. Only fall into loving partnership with someone who is presently healthy and exactly where you are resonating at the time. I’m telling you, this is huge. 9.Set the bar high. Bring your best self to the love you choose. Find a partner that is doing the same for you. Don’t say someone is “out of your league” or settle for something so that you are not alone. Don’t stay in a relationship that expired long ago, and no matter how much you try to “fix” it, it simply doesn’t fit (and sometimes that’s ok- it’s not a negative comment on either partner….some people just vibrate differently with particular people and that’s natural). Don’t be with someone who isn’t kind to you. Don’t stay with someone because the sex is good. Sex is off the charts when the love is healthy and the right fit. Energetically that stuff will rock BECAUSE it is a good fit. Don’t be afraid to stand on your own and choose to love yourself if that is healthier right now. You have to know that you are a child of light and love, God’s spark of creation, and you deserve the best life has to offer. Meaning…..the best in loving, supportive relationships that are a good “match” for you. No one is out of your league. Expect the best, and be the best. Set the bar high. 10.This is in no way a comprehensive list. That, my friends, is for certain. I only feel called to share what has come up in direct coaching sessions recently that seem to follow a theme or pattern right now for a large number of folks. And yes, there are exceptions to many of the opinions I’ve offered here. If you want a thorough set of ideas and tips on healthy relationships, I suggest the following books:
If the Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl If the Buddha Married by Charlotte Kasl One Two One: A Guidebook for Conscious Partnerships, Weddings, and Rededication Ceremonies by David Tresemer
If you have additional insights into healthy love, please message me. My list grows daily, as my understanding of partnership grows daily ;) I leave you with two thoughts now:
You can only know something about something………..and set the bar high. Really high.
From my gentle heart to yours, Hope Gold Copyright 2015
The Copperhead in My Bathtub: Kundalini Rising and Ascension A few weeks ago, I had a dream that I was in a two level house with my mother. We were near the bathroom, where we noticed to our dismay and horror a Copperhead snake coming up slowly through the drain. As you can imagine, we bolted, and somehow simultaneously in dream time called someone to come to our house to remove the snake. As we were heading up the stairs to get away, we noticed the snake on the landing trying to follow us. We made it to a room and shut the door whilst awaiting the professional snake remover (are there such people, and what are their titles, I wonder?) to take away the Copperhead. When he was finished, he explained that snakes who emerge up drains like that are usually in search of a particular person, and for a reason. In the dream, it was somehow understood that the snake was coming for me.
Then I awoke.
Uh oh.
Why was a Copperhead, a notoriously poisonous snake, hunting for me?
I stayed still for quite a while pondering snake symbolism- shedding of its skin, transformation, letting go of what no longer serves, death of the old, welcoming of the new, the list goes on.
Then, I wondered about copper- perhaps the snake’s name was what mattered- and NOT the idea that it could take me down in one selective toxic bite.
Copper, I found out, is a metal of balance. It is also, in ancient alchemy, associated with Aphrodite. It’s connected to love, beauty, creativity, and the divine feminine. It was used in producing mirrors. Mirrors…..reflections……..intriguing.
After feeling all of that out, I did what any self-respecting woman with the gift of sight would do…..I called one of my best girlfriends to tell her about the Copperhead coming to get me. She ooohed and ahhhhed and told me all about Kundalini Rising. Which brings me to the point of this whole article. Kundalini Rising and Ascension- two terms that are bouncing around a lot these days via various energy healers, spiritual teachers, new age gurus, and the like. What do they mean, how are they reflections actually of each other? How do they apply to us, in the here and now?
Several years ago I would have lightly rolled my eyes at both of those concepts. Now, of course, I do not. However, based on my personal experience, I’m kind of feeling like the two interweave and are different expressions of the same concept. And here’s my other thought about this…….that snake coming up in the bathtub right now? It’s really slithering its way towards all of us. The bathtubs might vary in shape, size, color, and functionality, but there are universal cleansing vessels to which we’re all connected on this planet, and those energetic spaces, that stardust of which we’re all made, is vibrating at an upgraded, unique frequency that is changing how life as we know it operates right now on planet Earth.
Those frequency changes create movement and clear channels in our bodies- be they called chakras, energy centers, meridians, connective tissue, spinal columns or the like- and as our channels shift and move into lighter “bodies” or crystalline structures, we “ascend.” To ascend means to “rise,” and Kundalini, the yogic term for energy movement from our lower chakras up through our crown, directly connects to this process. It rises. Just like a serpent.
This year of 2016 is really the first year of major movement and shifting coming out of the 2012 portal we all kind of knew about on some level. 2012 didn’t open a doorway and “poof” we were all living in 5D. It opened a doorway that led to a slow progression preparing us- our bodies, hearts, and minds- to begin living the lives we’d only dreamed about, and for making way for our soul’s work to merge into universal alignment with God. I have said to so many friends and clients that at the end of the year many of us will wake up and marvel at how our lives look so radically different from what they did before. Entire 180 degree turns will be taken….and if we but surrender to those forks in the road and honor the process, as potentially painful or blissful they may be…..we may just find our greatest joys made manifest.
We may just……….find our greatest JOYS made manifest.
In order to embrace those changes coming, perhaps it’d be a good idea to stop running away from the Copperhead snake and sit quietly like fundamentalist snake handlers, and let it wrap itself around our arms or legs, monitoring each breath…. becoming one with the snake and what it has to show us.
Gently surrender to all that is. Embrace the perfect soul plan you’ve created for yourself. Commit to learning, growing, and understanding the unique meaning of your own existence. Take God’s hand and allow your own vulnerability to show itself. You are supported and loved by a vast universe manifesting itself through the souls that are coming into your world at this time, and the serendipitous events that swirl around all of you. All of us.
We are ascending. We rise.
Signs of Kundalini Rising and Ascension: Individual experiences of Kundalini process vary considerably, but the basic signs of a Kundalini rising that a person might experience include: – feeling different, not fitting in – a deep dissatisfaction or a yearning for inner development – inner sensations of light, sound, current, or heat – a heightened inner or outer awareness; increased sensitivity – feelings of energy flowing or vibrating within – special abilities, capacities, and talents – non-ordinary phenomena; altered states – spontaneous bodily movements or breathing patterns – emotional fluctuations; psychological issues coming forward – atypical sensations or sensitivities – an interest in spiritual growth or in metaphysics or the esoteric – compassion and a desire to help others – a sense that something non-ordinary, transformative, or holy is happening within – personal development, and optimally, spiritual transformation and realization
Retrieved From: kundalinicare.com 3/24/2016
In the most exquisite of love and with love, Hope Gold Copyright 2016